MY vision of a new humanity does not have any place for the old kind of marriage

MY vision of a new humanity does not have any place for the old kind of marriage

Marriage keeps thousands of things going on: the religion, the state, the nations, the wars, the literature, the movies, the science; everything, in fact, depends on the institution of marriage.

I am not AGAINST marriage; I simply want you to be aware that there is a possibility of going beyond it too. But that possibility also open up only because marriage creates so much misery for you, so much anguish and anxiety for you, that you have to learn how to transcend it. It is a great push for transcendence. Marriage is not unnecessary; it is needed to bring you to your senses, to bring you to your sanity. Marriage is necessary and yet there comes a point when you have to transcend it too. It is like a ladder. You go up the ladder, it takes you up, but there comes a moment when you have to leave the ladder behind. If you go on clinging to the ladder, then there is danger.

Marriage basically means that you are not able yet to be alone; you need the other. Without the other you feel meaningless and with the other you feel miserable. Marriage is really a dilemma! If you are alone you are miserable; if you are together you are miserable. It teaches you your reality, that something deep inside you needs transformation so that you can be blissful alone and you can be blissful together. Then marriage is no more marriage because then it is no more bondage. Then it is sharing, then it is love. Then it gives YOU freedom and you give the freedom needed for the other's growth.

The ordinary marriage is an unconscious bondage: you cannot live alone so you become dependent on the other; the other cannot live alone so he or she becomes dependent on you. And we hate the person on which we are dependent; nobody likes to depend on anybody. Our deepest desire is to have freedom, total freedom -- and dependence is against freedom. Everybody hates dependence, and that's why couples are continuously fighting, not knowing why they are fighting. They have to meditate over it, they have to contemplate over it, why they are fighting. Everything is just an excuse to fight. If you change one excuse, another excuse will be found; if no excuse is left then excuses will be invented, but somehow the fight has to be there.

Marriage is a great teaching; it is an opportunity to learn something: to learn that dependence is not love, that to depend means conflict, anger, rage, hatred, jealousy, possessiveness, domination. And one has to learn not to depend. But for that you will need great meditativeness so that you can be so blissful on your own that you don't need the other. When you don't need the other, the dependence disappears. once you don't need the other you can share your joy -- and sharing is beautiful.

I would like a different kind of relationship in the world. I call it relating just to make it different from your old kind of relationship. I would like a different kind of marriage in the world. I will not call it marriage because that word has become poisoned. I would like to call it just a friendship; no legal bondage, just a loving togetherness; no promise for tomorrow -- this moment is enough. And if you love each other this moment and if you enjoy each other this moment, if you can share with each other this moment. the next moment will be born out of it; it will become more and more enriched. As time passes by, your love will become deeper, it will start having new dimensions, but it will not create any bondage.

The fight has a fundamental reason which has nothing to do with anything else. The fundamental reason is you hate the person you have to depend upon. You don't want to recognize it -- you don't want to recognize the fact that you hate the person you believe you love. You hate simply because it is the other that hinders, defines your territories, keeps you confined, makes you feel limited from every side. Your freedom is crippled and paralyzed. How can you love the other person? And the same you are doing to the other. How can the other person love you?

Hence MY vision of a new humanity does not have any place for the old kind of marriage or old kind of family because we have suffered enough. I know perfectly well that man and woman will need to be together, but not out of need, but out of overflowing joy; not out of poverty but out of richness -- because you have so much that you have to give. Just like when a flower opens, its fragrance is released to the winds because it is so full of fragrance it HAS to release it. Or when a cloud comes in the sky it showers; it has to shower -- it is so full of rain water it has to share.

Up to now we have not helped man to know what love is; on the contrary we have been forcing him to get married. Marriage has to be the first thing and then love will come on its own accord. That whole idea has proved totally wrong. Man has lived in hell for centuries. He has become accustomed, that is true, in fact so much accustomed that the very idea of a world without marriage shocks him.

I would like marriage to be replaced by relating and family to be replaced by small communes. For example, this commune: a few hundred people living together, working together, producing together, creating together.
From: Tao: The Golden Gate, vol. 2

Religions have destroyed your
love by creating marriage

The

society

is

for

marriage

and

against

divorce

People should be allowed to live together so that they can know what kind of people they are and whether they are suited or not, whether they mix or not, whether the can create a harmony in their life or not.

But anybody can go to the marriage office and get married, and nobody creates any disturbance. This is absurd. And when you want to get separated, then the whole court and the law and the police and everybody, is there to prevent you. The society is for marriage and against divorce.

I am neither for marriage nor for divorce. In my vision there should be only a kind of friendship between people, a responsibility, a caring. And if that day is far away, then meanwhile marriage should not be allowed so easily. People should be given a chance to test each other, to live in all kinds of situations. Just out of a poetic vision, just out of a first-sight love, marriage should not be allowed.

Let things cool down, let things become ordinary. Let them see wether they can manage with ordinary life, with day-to-day problems, and only then allow them to get married. That too should be temporary. Maybe every two years they have to come back to renew it; if they don't come, it is finished. The licence should be renewed every two years, and whenever they want to separate, no problem should be created.
From: Unio Mystica, vol.1

( _^ )

A recently-married traveling salesman came home early from his business trip. He arrived at one o'clock in the morning and tiptoed up the stairs to his bedroom, not wishing
to disturb his young wife. When he opened the door, to his horror he saw another man sleeping in his bed, next to his wife.

In a burst of rage he grabbed the man by the hair and pulled him out of bed. He kicked him
and pushed him down the stairs and out of the back door. He forced the naked man into the garden shed, grabbed his prick and put it in a vice, which he then tightened and padlocked. He took a hacksaw from the shelf, very methodically removed the blade and fitted a new one in.

The terrified young man's eyes bulged at this prospect.

"You-you are no-no-not going to-to cut my prick off, are you?" he stammered.

"No," smiled the husband, handing the saw to the relieved young man. "YOU are! I am going to set fire to the shed!"

Enough for today.

From: Come, Come, Yet Again Come

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